Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Remembering Pain


“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

- Charles Dickens

Often when we document things, Birthdays, Christmas and wonderful vacations…

we often only document those things that society tells us are happy…this can be a mistake.

Those darker adventures in life are often pushed to the cobwebs of our consciousness brought out occasionally, but rarely embraced. What we forget is that while the good things in life make us happy and loved…

it is the dark adventures that define us, the often sad things that if we let them bring beauty, change and wealth to the world.

The dark days when getting out of bed seems to be an impossible task, when the grief overwhelms us and we feel like we are flying through life the wind whipping in our ears and yet we don’t seem to see any of it…just a blur…hoping that for a few blissful moments we can forget the pain.

These are the times that teach us caring, empathy, perseverance and patience. Sometimes these lessons take years to learn.

I spent a number of my years living perhaps one my greatest adventures. Injured in highschool I spent the next seven years of life in and out of a wheel-chair, on disability leave and trying various procedures to diagnose what might be wrong and facing a possible life of chronic pain. I am not sure what is harder, knowing what illness you have or going through years of tests and still not knowing.

Chronic pain is so difficult.

It is like being a child and the feeling that the monster in your closet is so strong you shiver in fear, you know it is real! Then, your parent arrives opens the closet door to find nothing and admonishes you for your fantasies. As the door closes, you are once again left alone knowing that the monster is there, and deep down knowing that your parents came in the room already believing that your monster was simply in your imagination.


I often think of this period of my life as possibly my greatest adventure because while it was painful, hard and at times seemed hopeless it shaped me as a person.

It made me stronger, increased my understanding of others and made me look at the world around me in different colors and emotions then I would have known if I had not been injured.

I find now, even years later I am still discovering things about myself that I learned during that period in my life and documented them in this layout.

DSC_0497 copy

While pain never really goes away, and I still struggle with the remnants of that period of my life both physically and emotionally I cannot regret it.

This dark adventure has brought so much more beauty and love to my life then I would have ever thought possible during the darkest of days.

If you are struggling with your own pain at the moment know that I am thinking of you, hoping for you and praying that you will also find the beauty in some your life’s deepest, darkest adventures.


- Katie


  1. I love this post. I understand exactly what you mean. I have Fibromyalgia and wasn't diagnosed until 2003 with it. I can't remember what it feels like to have a day without pain. You're right about society not wanting to know about the bad parts of our lives. I journal and include every aspect of my life. I try hard not to dwell on it but I don't sugar coat a bad day. I do believe if I hadn't gotten this I would be a different person. I have more empathy now than I ever have in my life.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

  2. Sandy, thank you for your lovely comment. I am so glad that you take the time to remember this part of your through journaling as well.

  3. beautiful post... just beautiful.. and your layout is gorgeous! I too believe in documenting the pain.. it's part of who we are.. Bravo to you! Hv you heard of Scrapbooking fr the Inside out?? They hv amazing kits and deal with sbing our real feelings... great group of gals! hugs xo

  4. Such courage to post this ... I think it's very healing to scrap the not-so-great times too. It's what makes our lives our own, and it's part of us. ((hugs))

  5. Beautifully said. It is in the darkest times that we learn more about ourselves and how strong we really are.
    Your layout is lovely.

  6. Very well said. I think it is great that you are documenting this part of our life.

  7. Very deep post. Thank you for sharing your pain. Hopefully this has been cathartic, and a little helpful to others who may be experiencing the same thing. The Layout is beautiful and very well done as well! -Amanda

  8. Well said. Great layout. I scrapbook everything, good, bad and ugly. That is what life is all about. All those moments have a purpose and they should be documented.

  9. Love your layout and your post. Such truth in not having regrets and looking at painful days as catalysts for change or positivity. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful layout and experience!


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